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We Watch Oscars
Wow.  Oscars, eh?  Actors, right?

A guy that comes into my restaurant told me if I wanted more than just my Mom to comment on my blog, I should ask more questions. 


Okay, Here's What I Thought of the Oscars; With the Words Arranged in the Interrogatory.

Red Carpet host Sherri Shepherd, the dumb one from the View, just said "Thank you for talkiing."   I do not enjoy the celebrity that is Sherri Shepherd.  I just don't get. it.  Are we laughing at her?  Am I... racist?

Is Sarah Jessica Parker aging faster than the rest of us? 

Woah, who let Kathy Ireland out of her hamster wheel?  Sorry, Sherri.  I misjudged you.  You're just not into "facts".  You're cool.  Kathy Ireland is a Zombie Robot. 

Neil Patrick Harris is the fucking shit.  He is going to age very gracefully.  Like Dick Clark.

So, this is good.  Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin have this great Smothers' Brothers variety show duo thang going.  Good jokes.  Nice style.  I'm into it.  But I might be the only one.  Everyone looks really nervous when the camera is on them. They're terrified that Alec or Steve, mostly Steve, is going to give up their child-porn dog-fighting secret-family-in-the-basement racket.

George Clooney is livid.  Livid!  What a douche.  Don't you think George Clooney is a huge douche?

Here's a question for you.  Do people go to more movies after the Oscars?  Is there like an Oscars afterglow at the box office?  Do they trick us into thinking movies are good again?

...Are movies good again?

Speaking of tricking, did you see the US headline on the new Bachelor couple?  "How She Tricked Him."  Look, I know I'm the only one watching the Bachelor, but you have to trust me on this one.  Those two are in loooove.  Good love.  She's just misunderstood, and a little young.  Not the most socially graceful but who's gonna cast that first stone?

I don't think I'm gonna make it through the night.

Woah buddy who wrote Precious is an emotional nightmare.  Shit. 

Steve Martin: "I wrote that speech for him."  Funny guy.


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